writing your own: tips & tricks


Since I made the decision to write my own wedding vows, I am glad that I took a bit more time to come up with the final product, because it has been a bit nerve-racking, to say the least. But, since I like to have enough time set aside to get things done right, I have been putting my thoughts anywhere that I can jot them down, from my cell phone to pieces of paper wad up in my purse. I just want to be sure that I say everything I want to say and don’t leave anything out when the big day arrives.


There are a lot of people these days that are considering writing their own vows on their wedding day. Not only does it make the event that much more unique, but it truly connects you not only with your partner but also with those in attendance. Experience has taught me that the best way to come up with your own vows is to read examples to get inspired. I started by reading traditional books, incorporating samples from original themes and using them as a starting point. Once you’ve got that love in your life and have aspirations of looking good in a wedding dress, you will soon find your own stride and be able to construct your own that resonate with your loved one. The following are some tips to help you create the perfect vows for your wedding day.


Agreeing on Formats and Tone


wedding vows

Have a discussion with your loved one and ask how they envision the words? Are they going to be humorous, romantic, poetic, dramatic? The logistics are also important as you can write them separately or you can even go the traditional route. You could also share them with one another or surprise one another on the actual day of the wedding.


Notate the relationship.


You may need to take some time to think about your fiancé and how they make you feel. What are the very things that made the two of you fall in love in the first place and how can that resonate in front of a loved one as well as the audience? Here are some questions to ask to get your creative juices flowing:


What made the two of you decide to marry?
What tough times have you endured together?
What do you see for one another in the future?
What goals do you have in common?
What makes the relationship work?
What was the moment you realized the attraction was mutual?
What do you respect most about one another?
How has life changed since you became a couple?
What inspires both of you?
What do you miss about the other when apart?
What qualities do you admire the most in your partner?


Come up with a list of promises.


We call them vows, which makes promises very important. One tip I was told was to include them in a broad way but in a way that applies to specifically you two.