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Writing Our Vows

writing your own: tips & tricks


Since I made the decision to write my own wedding vows, I am glad that I took a bit more time to come up with the final product, because it has been a bit nerve-racking, to say the least. But, since I like to have enough time set aside to get things done right, I have been putting my thoughts anywhere that I can jot them down, from my cell phone to pieces of paper wad up in my purse. I just want to be sure that I say everything I want to say and don’t leave anything out when the big day arrives.


There are a lot of people these days that are considering writing their own vows on their wedding day. Not only does it make the event that much more unique, but it truly connects you not only with your partner but also with those in attendance. Experience has taught me that the best way to come up with your own vows is to read examples to get inspired. I started by reading traditional books, incorporating samples from original themes and using them as a starting point. Once you’ve got that love in your life and have aspirations of looking good in a wedding dress, you will soon find your own stride and be able to construct your own that resonate with your loved one. The following are some tips to help you create the perfect vows for your wedding day.


Agreeing on Formats and Tone


wedding vows

Have a discussion with your loved one and ask how they envision the words? Are they going to be humorous, romantic, poetic, dramatic? The logistics are also important as you can write them separately or you can even go the traditional route. You could also share them with one another or surprise one another on the actual day of the wedding.


Notate the relationship.


You may need to take some time to think about your fiancé and how they make you feel. What are the very things that made the two of you fall in love in the first place and how can that resonate in front of a loved one as well as the audience? Here are some questions to ask to get your creative juices flowing:


What made the two of you decide to marry?
What tough times have you endured together?
What do you see for one another in the future?
What goals do you have in common?
What makes the relationship work?
What was the moment you realized the attraction was mutual?
What do you respect most about one another?
How has life changed since you became a couple?
What inspires both of you?
What do you miss about the other when apart?
What qualities do you admire the most in your partner?


Come up with a list of promises.


We call them vows, which makes promises very important. One tip I was told was to include them in a broad way but in a way that applies to specifically you two.




Knowing Your Mate

Finding your soulmate is truly a life-altering experience that is hard to describe to someone that hasn’t felt it yet, but trust me when I say it worth the wait. When you know, you just know, and that is exactly how it was when I met mine. Although some people may think of classic movies when it comes to finding a soulmate, that was not the case necessarily. When we first met, the attraction was immediate, and he checked off all of the important credentials that I require in a mate. It feels like I have known him my entire life and I find myself talking to him like a dear old friend. In reality, he is just as important and relevant to me as my oldest friends and I cannot imagine my life without him.

You know you’ve met the right one when that person is all that you can think about. What I tell people that have not experienced it is that it doesn’t stand out like a romantic comedy. Instead, it is more real than that, but it is a moment that you will not ever forget. I may be no movie star actress, but the feeling I had was just as dramatic and intense. Just because true love isn’t like the movies, it doesn’t mean that it is unique in its own way. The moment I saw my future husband, I knew that he was the one that was meant for me. The butterflies I feel for him is still as intense. The love for him has never gone away and I know that it never will. Knowing you’ve met the right one, that soulmate, signals that you are at the next level.

I can be my true self around those that I love, showing all sides of me that they take all in, from the bad to the good and everything in between. I don’t have to hide any aspect of myself with them, and my personality is allowed to flow effortlessly and without judgment. No one is perfect, but he is the perfect one for me. He understands and loves my imperfections and vice versa. The beauty, after all, lies within all of our scars just as much as our beauty.


We share similar life goals and we have discussed for long nights what we have planned for the future, and how our love will evolve over the years. Even when our paths diverge, there is something that connects us and it is also interesting how even our fantasies sometimes are the same. Life is all about the journey and it would be amazing if we all could walk through it side by side with someone special, that soulmate. When we get married, how many kids we have, and where we live are all things that are on the table at the moment, but I am ready for wherever the path may lead us. With him by my side, I know that we can get through the decisions together in a way that is perfect for both of us.


Sure, we have moments where we may spar and debate with intensity, but it is necessary to deepen that connection. But even when we fight, we always move forward and never back. The two of us have managed to get through everything together and it makes me feel even more secure and safe.


You will feel like you are one of the most blessed people on earth once you have found your soulmate and that is another sign that you are going the right direction. I remain in awe of my partner and his qualities are ones that make me grateful to have found him. We are both committed to this relationship and are always eager to find more ways to get everything to the next level. I know that I am always open to speaking to my fiancé about anything that comes to mind – no matter is too big or too small. Once you find that soulmate, you are willing to do everything you can to ensure that you grow together as one over many years.